


Yogurt and Philosophical Conversations

by Diary



Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Angst, Atheist Character, Atheist Toad (X-Men), Bechdel Test Fail, Bottle Episode Fic, Catholic Character, Catholic Kurt Wagner, Conversations, Gen, Male Friendship, Religious Conflict, Religious Discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7653778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Toad share some yogurt and talk. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yogurt and Philosophical Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own X-Men Evolution.

Reaching over to swipe Kurt’s container of yogurt, Toad asks, “Having another crisis, fuzzy?”

Grabbing the container back, Kurt produces two spoons and tosses one to Toad. “No. Um, this is going to sound- Never mind.”

“Tell me, or I’m stealing the whole thing an’ hopping away.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Kurt retorts.

Tilting his head, Toad responds, “Really, dawg? Ya really up for it?”

“I’m not sure what I think of Hell,” Kurt starts. “But today- you know how I sometimes help with Sunday school?”

Sticking another spoonful of yogurt in his mouth, Toad nods.

“Today, we watched a movie. These teenagers died, and only one of them was a Christian. All but him were dragged down to Hell, and he didn’t- he didn’t even care. He didn’t try to save them. He just let them be taken with no emotion. And the happy ending was that his girlfriend on Earth became a Christian after he died.”

“Not trying to provoke ya, dawg, but what’s the issue? Just cause I don’t believe, it doesn’t mean I don’t know some of the Bible. ‘I, the LORD, your God, am a jealous God.’ If I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend, I’d hope she’d be smart enough to not piss off the dude who said that.”

Kurt frowns. “No,” he flatly declares. “Abraham was wrong, and so is- God doesn’t throw _anyone,_ but especially not innocent teenagers, taken too young, into Hell.”

“Careful, fuzzy,” Toad says. “We do have some Jewish kids ‘round here. They might not take hearing a German saying that very well.”

Rolling his eyes, Kurt directs a German curse at him. “My point is, if God were like that, I wouldn’t worship him. I wouldn’t let you or anyone else be taken. I’d fight. Or I’d insist on going, too. Something.”

“If we ever get in that situation, please, don’t,” Toad says.

Kurt gapes.

“Going by ‘God is real’, then, God created a flood that wiped out the whole world, yo. You think there weren’t innocent kids? Babies? Helpless old people? Special needs people who couldn’t decide to do something bad, because, they couldn’t decide anything important? That there weren’t kids and babies and good women, at least, in Sodom and that other place? Mrs Lot was turned to stone, blue, just ‘cause she looked back at where every single person she’d been around for however long was dying.”

“Salt,” Kurt quietly corrects.

“Look, I don’t care what you believe. You want to believe God is different from the Catholic stories ‘bout him, go ahead. But if he ain’t, and he’s real, don’t be stupid. Least, don’t be stupid for me. Told ya before, I’m not afraid of Hell, fuzzy. That happens, it won’t the first or last time I’ve been pushed around. Scott stepped in once, and I really ‘preciate that, but times like that are rare. I ain’t gonna change, fuzzy, and a lot of people have serious objections to me. Did even before the mutant reveal came out.”

“How do you know so much about Church doctrine and what The Bible says?”

Shrugging, Toad looks down at his spoonful of yogurt. Finally, he answers, “My momma was a big believer. When I was real little, the picture she painted was nice, yo, but a lot of it didn’t make sense. I went along with it, though. When I got older, besides making no sense, well, it just sounded bad. But it made her happy, and so, I kept pretending.”

“Ah,” Kurt murmurs.

Shaking his head, Toad says, “No, I don’t think I’ll ever see her again. And you have no idea how much that hurts.” He swipes at his eyes. “But just cause you want to believe something, it don’t always mean you can. If God is real, yo, I hope she’s in Heaven. I wouldn’t want her to risk that just for me.”

“I’m sorry about your mother.”

Shrugging, Toad uses his tongue to swipe the yogurt container out of Kurt’s loose hands. “Things happen, dawg. She wasn’t no saint. Still, she was part of me, and I’m still part of her.”

“Mystique isn’t part of me, and I’m not part of her,” Kurt announces.

“Have to agree to disagree, dawg. The guy my momma was with, I hate him. But me an’ him do share blood and DNA and all that. You can have your parents and not want anything to do with her, but she’s still part of you, and you're still part of her.”

“Hmm,” Kurt says. Grabbing the yogurt container, he tosses it in a nearby recycling bin. “If you saw someone you loved being dragged into Hell, what would you do? Wanda? Tabby? One of The Brotherhood?”

“I wouldn’t feel sorry for the draggers once Wanda and Tabs were done with them,” Toad answers with a small grin.

Looking at one another, both boys chuckle.

Sobering, Kurt persists, “But the others?”

Leaning back, Toad says, “Brotherhood ain’t family, yo. If I saw someone- if I saw that happening, I’d run, try to look out for myself. Even if were someone good or someone I liked. ‘Cause, that’s who I am, Nightcrawler. Face it, all I say, now, if it came down to it, I’d probably beg.”

“I’m not so sure,” Kurt says. Sighing, he continues, “Faith isn’t supposed to be this hard.”

“Guess it depends on what you call faith,” Toad muses. “Scientists know things. Even if people say they’re wrong, they ain’t. They can prove it. So, if you can prove something, who cares if other people refuse to believe what’s true, yo? Other things- I know mayonnaise on corndogs it the best.”

Kurt fakes retching.

“The only way that changes is if my taste changes. I don’t care if no one else agrees. Things like God, though, and whether any gods are good or bad, all that- you’re probably never going to be able to prove it, yo, and there are always going to be things that go against what you know. Believe. ‘Cause, anyone can believe anything. Less ya can prove, though, you don’t technically know it, do ya?”

“Ja, that’s all true. It doesn’t really help those struggling, though, does it? Have you ever struggled with matters of faith?”

“I’m always gonna be for numero uno, fuzzy. But truth is, I used to legit think Magento was right. Now, I ain’t too sure. I’ll never be ashamed of being mutant, but- sometimes, regular people, humans, ain’t so bad.”

“Good,” is Kurt’s simple reply.

Looking over, Toad says, “People wrote The Bible, fuzzy. Even if ya believe God helped them, they were still people, an’ they still lived in a different time than us. So, if ya believe somethin’ different about God that goes against The Bible, maybe keep that in mind. For all you know, God’s story got messed up somewhere ‘long the way, and he’s hoping someone’ll realise.”

“There’s a term for that: Cafeteria Catholics.”

“Maybe when you were little, but since joining the X-Men, when has Kurt Wagner, codename Nightcrawler, ever let someone calling ‘im names stop him from doing what he thinks is right? Only time I’ve ever seen ya back down is when you realised you were wrong or one of your own needed ya more, yo.”

“Kitty’s birthday is on Wednesday,” Kurt abruptly says. “Come with me. There’ll be ice-cream and pizza. Plenty of sodas.”

“I’ll think ‘bout it,” Toad says. “Speaking of, though, Lance is pro’lly back from his date with Shadowcat. Best get home, yo. Take care, alright?”

He briefly clasps Kurt’s shoulder.

“I will. Do you want me to poof you?”

“Nah, I’m good.” He starts to hop off. “Thanks for the yogurt!”


End file.
